A true friend is someone who knows what I need without even my asking. Someone who will give me a hug, listen to me, and give me a back rub or compliment. A friend never sees the mess in my house. Instead, she lends a hand in folding my clothes. She listens without judging but is honest with me when I need straightening out. A friend never asks ‘Are you okay?’ Instead she says, ‘What can I do for you?’
Who among us doesn’t want a friend like this? We all long for a relationship with someone who understands us completely and is able to meet most, if not all, our relational needs.
We long to share ourselves with someone who is eager to hear about our past, our dreams and stuff of daily life. With a true friend, we can be completely honest. We don’t need to pretend to be ‘on top of things’ or ‘together’. We can confess out petty jealousies, our struggles, our failures, our sins, knowing that a true friends will not think any less of us.
A true friend is someone who we look to for support. She is always on our team, cheering us on to victory. When our perspective has become distorted by self-pity, she encourages us not with pat answers but by gently pointing us towards the truth. There is never a hint of criticism from true friend but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t sometimes say hard things. She is the one who always ask the tough questions. Anyone can say what we want to hear but a true friend tells us what we need to hear. Yet, every word is prompted by love.
Ultimately, true friends deal honesty with their differences. In fact, differences can be freely aired because of the climate of acceptance. When we know our friend accepts us no matter what, we have the freedom to share who we really are. Differences are no better or worse than similarities. When we are honest about our differences and accept one another despite them, we reap generous benefits. We take our friendship to a whole new level of trust.
Each of us has slightly different expectations of what is meant by true friendship. Some use the term ‘friend’ loosely to mean anything from acquaintance to lifelong soul mate. Others are reluctant to call someone a friend because they hold extremely high standards for a friendship. Each friendship is unique because of the two individuals involved.
I don’t have one friend who satisfies all these criteria, but a few come close. My close friends are like oxygen in my life when I feel as if I’m drowning. They are worth more than gold (well, almost!), and I consider them a beautiful gift from god.
Have you found that someone yet?
