Confessions

There’s no such thing as equality in the world and it can never be achieved, I for one has a cynical view of this term. Everyone expects to be treated fairly but his or her inner self craves to have that ‘special’ treatment. When one insists to receive fair treatment, then be sure it is a situation where they perceive themselves likely to be disadvantaged, on the other hand, the very same person can demand another set of rules to be imposed on him/her just to alleviate their well-being.

Followers of the principle ‘Equality’ seems to forget that everyone is an unique individual, with complex combination of personalities, resulting in different perceptions and expectations (what one feels as fair may not be viewed in the same way as another). Correct me if I’m wrong but I do think that everyone has the right to demand different treatment, after all it is human nature to practice favoritism. Perhaps not so obvious in the society where our behavior is restricted or controlled by the social norms and values which are supposedly to guide us to the right way of acting. On the personal level, we practice favoritism practically everyday, friendship, family, self-fulfillment, etc. For example, what I chose to tell P1 might not be relayed to P4; therefore allowing P1 to have access to the piece of information. It all depends on situation, what we can actually get from the chosen party. Different choices but same outcome; satisfaction is the main goal. If I were to be fair and just, then my life would be in chaos cause I would have to make sure that none is left out if I choose to disclose something. It’s so hard to be a perfect person if equality is the fundamental principle to behold. The only way such perfection can happen is if one becomes impartial, objective and totally void of emotions. But then again, he/she wouldn’t be perfect, isn’t it? If you want to attempt this near-impossible feat (someone did achieved it), I’ll let you on to a little secret, people will respect you but no one will love you for it…one good example, the government…

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don’t have another day
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And i keep thinking of that night in june
I didn’t know much of love
But it came too soon and there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We’d get so excited, we’d get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be, friends forever
So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, i keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? can we make it somehow?
I guess i thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when i leave this town
I keep, i keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly

If there’s one thing i learnt from the past few weeks, its that you should always appreciate what you have and not take things for granted. That has been the principle that ive been abiding by recently, I’ved came to realise that something is very important to me and i have been putting in my utmost effort to save it, but somehow why do i feel that my efforts are futile… But i don’t regret my actions, cause one day i can honestly look back and say i tried my best, can you?

Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me, unbreakable like nothing could go wrong, but now I’m barely hanging on to the pieces, broken up deep inside but you won’t get to see my tears, cause I don’t cry on the outside anymore. Your love once so warm seems so cold now, yet I’m still trying to reach for your hand… Some said maybe it was wrong from the start, maybe it was a mismatch 7 years ago, but I’m not going to remember it like this. I refuse to let the past be tainted, I truly believe what we once shared were beautiful, a friendship full of dreams and happiness, one that I can proudly proclaimed that it’s amongst the best. I want what’s best for you because you’re too dear for me to hold any lasting resentment, no hatred, only sadness… I want you to be happy (whatever that means to you), even if it means without me, without us… I’m glad we talk, even if it’s really an exchange of words without understanding. I’m glad that you said what u feel, stood up for yourself or what you believe in. it was everything I hope you would show more often in the past. Even if the changes were not for me, but it’s a wish come true, well to a certain extent.

But thank you, because of you I’ve learnt to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt anymore. I’ve known now that my heart can’t possibly break if it wasn’t even whole to start with. You washed away the best of me like acid rain but you don’t care. The light at the end of the tunnel that I visualized was just a mirage in the desert; it was never there from the start… I’ll pull through, I’ll survive, cause there’s still many people around me to be strong for. You have clearly moved on or so I see and you have taught me how to too.

Thank you